Oh Shit, I'd Better Not Have HIV!

Ok, so nothing especially important happened to me on Monday except for lots of amused responses from my friends who found the St. Olaf story hilarious. I did, however, have one horrifying moment when the mail arrived. I had a letter from the Community Blood Bank. The reason I was horrified is this: I donated blood several weeks ago, and when you get a letter back, this frequently means that something was wrong with your sample. Now not the least of the possible problems is a positive HIV screening. Mind you, I don't have reason to believe I'm at much risk for HIV, but who knows? Maybe some crazy hobo came and shot me full of the virus one night while I slept. I reluctantly open the envelope and tell Dave, "I've had a bad enough last several days as it is. If I've got The HIV (HIV should read here not as three letters, but phonetically as one word, hiv) I'm going to be pissed."

I open the letter, and GOOD NEWS! Nothing was wrong at all with my sample and they were just thanking me for my donation. You're welcome, and don't scare me like that, you assholes! There is a picture enclosed of a smiling little girl who would not be alive today if not for blood donations like mine. This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.